OH MY GOD! I just died!!!
|—||John Green (via bee-d)|
i mean i would eat healthy food but do you remember that one time that adam and eve ate an apple in the garden of eden and doomed all of humanity so idk better not risk it
im always suspicious of anyone that finds me attractive
Are you serious right now? I’m a fully certified neurosurgeon. I can break into people’s heads and rewire their brains and tamper with their memory, no problem. But this? This juice box? This sugary drink marketed for eight year olds? No. Sticking a straw into this juice container is apparently just too much for me to handle without fucking it up. I’m done. I quit. Goodbye.
the worst is having a dream where someone loves you and you can practically feel them touching you and it feels so real and then you wake up and it’s like the life is being sucked out of you and the happiness just drains out of your body and you feel empty again